Tuesday, January 10, 2017

No Longer Myself; Myself Now.

When I was 16, I meditated for an evening. At the end of the session, I felt I had changed and that I was a new person. I had resolved to fundamentally change how people perceived me. I resolved also to fundamentally change my perception of the world.

Did I really change in that moment? Maybe.

When I was 22, I wrote somewhere a rambling blog post about what it means to change. When does who we are separate from who we were? I didn't feel different from any point in my past.

Yet of course I was. I had grown and changed. I had been shaped by new experiences, by age, by the subtle forces that we fail to notice on a daily basis.

I have spent some time recently musing on how I have changed in the last few years. I can't pin any specific moment or characteristic--although there are many. I won't spend any time musing on the intricacies of my mind; the theory of self.

Instead, I offer one thought that has been playing in a loop in my head. I do not feel that the person who wrote the items prior to 2014 fully represents the thoughts or opinions of the person I am now.

I was less careful with my language; I was far more open about my private life. I left less room for discussion.

I will keep all items posted prior to 2014 up and posted. I would like to be clear that they are not necessarily representative of my thoughts or actions in the present day and should be taken with a grain of salt.

I am a bit different now--change is good.