Monday, September 23, 2013

So I've Been Let Go

First, this sucks. Second, it kind of doesn't. Rationalizing aside I was looking to make a graceful exit anyway. Management beat me to the punch.

I want to find a new place I can really fit in. I feel terrible that I couldn't seem to figure it out or fit in. A lot of it was me.

I now am faced with the happy prospect of doing something else. I'm faced with the daunting prospect of having to find that something else.

It's dumb to work at a place for several weeks after the announcement that you have been laid off. There's a genuine, half-hearted, and odd response that you get from people. Sorry you are going (but not enough). I truly wish you the best, but why do you seem happy that you aren't doing anything after this?

And then there was the bizarre moment when I was laid off. It will end up in a book somewhere someday.

But all of that's past, and I am moving on. I am looking for jobs. Which is to be expected. Because I can't pay the bills with love.

Anyways, working out the last two weeks was really…weird. People know you are going, you know you are going, and none of the work seems to matter. At all. It takes a lot of might to make the petty day to day seem important. I suppose that's how it always is.

I'm way happy to have moved on. I have applied for unemployment and I am using this time to understand what it means to be me. Not some Eat, Pray, Love journey of self-discovery, but just a moment of "hey, I understand that I am happy even though I didn't get what I thought I wanted. What's that all about?"

So yeah, here I am. Looking for a job, but not sure what kind of job I want to be doing. I just want a ton of money and I want to make the world better for people. Doesn't seem too hard, right?