Thursday, November 29, 2012

Delta Value Zero

Delta Airlines.

I keep saying I'll never fly with them. I mean it this time. They piss me off.

Imagine RyanAir, but all the crappy things with none of the redeeming low-low prices. And it's funny because their infractions are minor—at least this last time they were. But the infractions prove to me that they don't care about their customers or their employees.

Every flight I was on they changed my seat—or Ciera's. So we weren't sitting next to each other. Yt I know it wasn't an error on our end because we booked with our computers right next to each other. And Ciera made me neurotically triple check. And they never notified us. Never. We were able to change our seats by asking the attendant at the kiosk to see if they could move around seats (on a full flight) to get us to stand next to each other. The attendant was very nice but also swamped with work. Asking him to do fix a problem that should not have existed was a problem for both me and him.

Only when we printed our confirmation did we find that our seats had changed.

Oh, and they changed our flight times in both directions. The changes were 10 minutes—negligible but indicative of an inability to manage their flights—or bother to give a shit about their customers. At least this time I wasn't stuck on the runway for 2 hours like the last time I flew with them. Again with the changes no notification until 24 hours prior to take-off.

Oh, but their boarding procedure was crap. They would call up their zones but couldn't actually get anyone to line up. When that happened it was like watching a bunch of Italians try to form a line. It didn't happen. And the attendants couldn't scan my freakin' ticket because they had gotten so confused.

They said I was “eligible” for a voucher if I wanted to change my flight. But at 24 hours out, if the change were significant, there is a disproportionate burden on the consumer with little ability on my end to make alternate plans. Also, just a dick move on Thanksgiving. Thank god that the changes were insignificant.

No leg room. That happens though.

Their awesome tvs on the backs of the seats. Not awesome. Seriously not awesome. I couldn't turn it off for ads they played that I didn't want to hear that were blasting through the PA system. This happened on the tarmac and halfway through the flight. Let me take a nap dammit. I don't care about Delta's gold card where you get 1 bag free on every flight. I don't care that you can get work out gear from the front desk at Westin Hotels. And I really don't care for your crappy safety video. I will read the informational card and take a flight attendant demonstration any day. I can at least tune them out.

And believe me they made it impossible to tune out their soft rock boarding playlist. During boarding I had to endure the likes of Taylor Swift as well as other softies so bad I'm sure they all record in some golden field in the middle of suburban America. Instead of calming me down, the music disturbed my attempt to nap in a manner so irritating I really almost started trying to claw my way out of the plane. I rarely find air travel “relaxing” but this was abrasive. Sitting there listening to Tay Swift talk about running out on her abusive boyfriend caused me to clench my jaw so tight it was sore for thanksgiving dinner. Delta actually managed to decrease my enjoyment of thanksgiving dinner.

Delta's gold card. Perks? 1 free bag on every flight with Delta. That is not a perk. For no annual fee or crappy gold card that stuffs your wallet and piles up debt with interest, you can fly Southwest. 2 free bags on every flight. No ad for a credit card halfway through your flight that's main perk is to offer 50% of a competitor airline's standard operating procedure.

Delta will have to do a lot to ever ingratiate itself to me ever again. I will never fly with them or offer a recommendation for anyone I know to ever fly with them.