Wednesday, July 25, 2012


I do what I want.

I guess I'm really an adult. It's kind of weird. I'm 23. 2 decades plus three. And I'm not sure what to do with myself sometimes.

No one signs me up for soccer teams; no one gives me gold stars. I never get grades. It's freeing and confining at the same time.

I find that I can hold myself back better than anyone else. The truth of the matter is that being an adult means taking responsibility for oneself. And I'm not very good at it. And I don't think a lot of adults are either.

It's a thing.

You know that John Lennon song? The one where he implores you to imagine things. I forgot the name. Well, in part of it, he says that we could have peace if we wanted.

And he's right. We have a lot of things because we woke up one day and believed we wanted it. And we suddenly had it.

Scratch that. I think it was a different song. About war being over if we wanted it. I forgot the name of that song too. I think he was kind of a hippie peacenik.

The point is that we can just get rid of the world's problems if we really decided to. What a weird thought. Why don't we? I mean, I understand that there are a lot of logistical issues, but to not attempt it sort of shows that we are only marginally more self-aware than the other animals.

Humans are absurd sometimes is what I'm saying. I'm saying that we have evolved to point B, but I think there are a lot of points forward from here. The first step is life, the next is a gradient of self-awareness, then the gradient of empathy, and beyond that is probably a gradient of super-empathy. And we aren't there. We just aren't there yet.

We suck sometimes.

Um...the story is that now that I'm an adult I do what I want but I haven't gotten good at pursuing what I want. And following through. I'm not too good at that.

The point—is—that—other—people—do—that—too. And it ain't all me, there is a culture of lazy and I'm part of the herd too many times out of 10.