Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Zen Writing Meditation

The last few days have been a whirlwind. I am moving so fast in my life these days and I haven’t really had much time to slow down. That’s what this blog is, a meditation on my life. And I don’t feel that I have been meditating well. Instead I have failed at my peaceful moments of reflection.

My life has blurred into action. And I love what I do, don’t get me wrong. But I feel like I have been failing this blog. It is very important to me to write everyday, and it just hasn’t been happening.

I went and saw a reading of ‘Trails’ the new musical that Ciera was stage managing. The play is ok, the lyrics are ok, but the songs are wonderful. I just hope that the piece gets cleaned up for its debut this fall.

I cooked a really cool version of hot broccoli. I put chopped broccoli and garlic in a buttered pan, added some leftover red wine, and some molasses. Then I squeezed a lime wedge over the pan and tossed the wedge to cook in the pan. It was really good; Ciera couldn’t get enough of it. And I was proud of what I cooked.

I sometimes wish that the sum total of the efforts I put into life counts as a blog. I wish that cleaning the apartment for four hours counts as a blog. I wish that my life recorded itself in perfect prose.

But I suppose that is a weak excuse for not doing what I need to do. Which is write. And write I shall.

The nine to five lifestyle is draining. It doesn’t surprise me that few people are able to break from that routine and get things done. I worked today from 9-7:30. What the hell do I do with the rest of my life? Not much. Sleep mostly.

It’s sort of a harsh reality. Making a living is hard work. And deciding to move beyond it is much harder. There’s a lot weighing me down these days I guess. And writing doesn’t get easier when it’s the thing I have to do after I cooked and cleaned and cooked and cleaned and did everything else in my life--work and stuff.

I haven’t found my zen again.