Friday, April 20, 2012

Painful Ramblings on Beauty

There is beauty in humanity. I think I lose sight of that a lot. I have been listening to Radiolab a lot. It’s an excellent science and human interest story. There are powerful stories and informative stories and stories that acknowledge the limits of human knowledge.

NPR also has free album previews. I get to listen to albums before they are released. Right now I have been digging Norah Jones and Sarah Jaffe. They both have great new albums that take advantage of the entire canvas available to them. Their sounds are different yet complementary and blend well into each other.

Today was a good day. And a hard day. I moved a lot of furniture. I went to lunch with Ciera. I worked with Eleanor on the website. I didn’t get home until 8:45pm. My life is good and I am tired.

Piper is coming into town tomorrow. I’m excited to see her. I haven’t seen her since last May. I really wish she had gotten into UW. A visit will suffice.

I want life to be perfect. I try so hard to make my life perfect. And that’s absurd of course. There is beauty even in the bad; Norah Jones’ latest album is a beautiful album of pain. And so I strive for the unattainable. In a perfect world we’d miss Adele and Norah Jones. We’d be ignorant but not happier.

I try really hard though to make the world better. I guess it’s a ridiculous notion, from here, to try to make something out of a few words on a page. I guess it’s a ridiculous notion to set goals that are unrealistically high.

I’m only 2.3 decades old. I was 10 when everyone was freaking out about the Y2K bug. What tomfoolery. And now we are freaking out about the end of the world? Humans are absurd. We are beautiful, but absurd. I was only 12 when the Twin Towers fell and for the majority of my conscious life America has been at war. Yet it colors my perception only on the fringes. And I think I’m old and wise. I’m absurd.

There is something beautiful about the imperfections and hypocrisy. There is something deeply beautiful about how we know not to commit pain onto each other and ignore such a common value. We have created complex societies yet we are only a catastrophe away from slipping into the violent world of mother nature--the beautiful and formidable force.