Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Airsoft Rooftop 1/3

A short story:

Scene: a school rooftop at night. The school is a large single floor school with low incline roofs and large flat portions. A group of middle school aged boys dressed in thick layers and wearing goggles and helmets are playing war games with airsoft guns.

Two boys are waiting behind a low incline roof camping out.

Tommy: Alex, did you hear about Danny and Rachel?

Alex: Yeah, so what Tommy?

Tommy: well...I don’t know. I thought it was news.

Alex: I heard that she gave him a hand job in the bathroom.

Tommy: Rachel?

Alex: yeah, he got to third base with her.

Tommy: I thought third base was different than a hand job.

Alex: no, it’s definitely a handjob.

Tommy: so what’s the left field? Or a foul ball?

Alex: (laughs) I don’t know. Is that like foot fetishes and stuff?

Tommy: Foot fetish?

Alex: yeah, some people really like feet.

Tommy: (thinks about it) feet huh? I guess so...

Alex: where do you think they are?

Tommy: I don’t know, I bet Robbie is having trouble climbing onto the roof again.

Alex: Yeah, it’s not like Danny could help him.

Tommy: Danny, have his balls even dropped yet?

Alex: (shrugs) I don’t try to look at his balls.

Tommy: shut up. You know what I mean. He’s barely five feet tall. You sure Rachel gave him an hj in the bathroom?

Alex: That’s what Mark told me.

Tommy: you heard that from Mark?

Alex: yeah. Why?

Tommy: Mark said he found a dead body and poked it.

Alex: so?

Tommy: You believe him?

Alex: yeah.

Tommy: He said that Becky showed her boobs to Will for five dollars.

Alex: didn’t she?

Tommy: No.

Alex: how do you know?

Tommy: I asked Will. He said that Becky cried when she found out.

Alex: Because everyone at school found out she showed her boobs and Will saw her third nipple?

Tommy: no, because it was a rumor.

Alex: No way. Will just said that because he lives on the same street as Becky.

Tommy: So?

Alex: they walk to school together every morning...He’s got a big crush on her, even if she has a third nipple.

Tommy: (slowly) No, Will says they’re just friends.

Alex: that’s because Becky has a crush on Robbie.

Tommy: why does she have a crush on Robbie Rolls?

Alex: I don’t know. Fat people need lovin’ too?

Tommy: (laughs loudly)