Saturday, February 25, 2012

Shop-aholic 2/3

a short story

I started searching at gun shops and military surplus stores for the equipment I would need. My first purchase was a riot helmet. Wearing that made me feel powerful, like I could take on every WTO freak or NBA post-Championship looter out there. Then I started buying an arsenal. I got everything; rubber bullets, tear gas, batons, tasers, flash bang grenades, smoke bombs, even a piercing siren that was louder than a plane taking off.

Then I got myself some excellent noise canceling headphones, a gas mask, and night vision goggles. It was heaven that night. I knew I would be shopping in a wholly new way. The way I wanted to shop. And that made me feel good.

That first night I donned all of my headgear and danced around the house in my underwear. I made brownies and turned on my favorite classical Frank Sinatra tunes. It was a beautiful moment dancing in my kitchen in my underwear and helmet, licking chocolate batter off the spoon and singing as loudly as I could to the swoon-inducing melodies of Mr. Sinatra.