Thursday, December 8, 2011

Holiday Cheer

White elephants. I felt like I was enjoying myself and relaxing into my workplace. In the conference room we traded our gifts and stole from each other. And I got the Forever Lazy. The Forever Lazy is better than a Snuggie. It's better than a Slanket. It's better than turning your robe around and wearing it like a Snuggie/Slanket. It's a onesy—without feet. Yeah, it's a onesy. And I took it from the VP who took it from the President who wore it a bit before having it stolen.

I think everyone, particularly Jacob and Korena, should know that I have the final word in lounge gear—repurposed blankets sewn into semi-clothing like garments. I own a onesy that has an escape hatch out the back. I have a thing that makes people who wear Snuggies at public events look normal and impractical at the same time. The box has a bunch of people having fun tailgating in a bunch of Forever Lazies. They come in one color obnoxious primary blue. So everyone in every picture is wearing blue Forever Lazies and smiling like it's normal to wear pajama onesies in public and with significant others.

It proudly advertises that you can read a book, watch TV, and do nothing at all! What I want to know, now that I have gotten this, is how did people ever stay warm and read a book, watch TV, or do nothing at all! Before this wonderful and amazing invention.

It also has a convenient sizing chart that tells you what of the three unisex sizes to purchase. By the way, if you are five foot four and 175 pounds do not buy this product. No size will fit you. I'm sorry, you are just too fat and squat for this product.

Anyway, I met Ciera with my Forever Lazy and we walked to Kerry Park—how cliché I know—and got some dinner at the Five Spot. And guess what? This place changes its theme every three months. Wow. It went from Philadelphia to a Broadway theme. Needless to say that Ciera was like a little kid, she kept looking around the room and saying, “I can't believe this.” There are giant can-can legs above the dividing wall between the bar and the main dining area. Every time a patron opens the door, the legs kick. It is pretty cool.

Then we went to get a Christmas tree. This time we got the tree that worked perfectly for us. It's a four foot douglas fir. I love doug firs. They are bushy, the needles are soft, and they don't splay out like those other sloppy pines. It is a beautiful little tree. And I carried it into the apartment, set it up, put the lights on around it and gave it a bunch of holiday lovin'. There is something about a christmas tree. Putting one up; not just my first one as a full blown adult but ever (my family always traveled to Portland and utilized the trees there; we never had one at home) was a slightly magical experience. I don't have much holiday spirit but seeing a little Americana in our studio just felt good. I felt so big and human.