Thursday, June 9, 2011

Word Vomit

Ciera and I were watching TV just now, and the printer just started randomly printing. It was odd.

Ciera just suggested that I write in large font and repeat “hi grandpa” until I hit 365 words for today's entry. I don't think that really counts.

Weiner sent pictures of his bulge via sext. Here's the thing, only our distinguished representatives can use the pick-up line, “come back to my place and I'll show you my member of congress.”

I never was really a fan of Cars. Cars 2 looks like the only Pixar movie that will suck.

Commercials don't make sense to me. If you think of everything in terms of believability and randomness; commercials are just freaking odd. You have thirty seconds to tell a story and very subtly or obnoxiously obviously sell crap to America. Go. I think I'd like to do that perhaps.

We should fund NASA better. Some of the coolest innovation and knowledge we have came from our National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

I think a cool ad campaign would be a “that guy” campaign. Holding up the line with a complicated order and lot's of questions, oh, you're 'that guy'.

My children will all sing in unison together and dress in adorable costumes. They will be child stars. And I will exploit them accordingly. Part Asian singing children are so cute your head will explode. Be prepared for the real end of the world when that happens.

Even if global warming is not man caused, that doesn't stop 50% of the American population from being in severe danger of suddenly drowning one day. It's like building a house on the beach at low tide, saying that the tide that is coming in isn't your fault doesn't stop it from flooding your kitchen. Think about that.

Paul Revere warned the British with his bells and whistles, shooting and hollering.

Bud Light bought 2 cruise ships, a private island, and tons in ad-space. Glad extreme poverty has been solved, otherwise Americans would look like jerks.

Apparently Weiner's weiner is like a hairless dog. Least there's no ambiguity about looking at it.

I want to design things. I believe that most stuff is overpriced, poorly built, and ugly. I think that can be fixed.

Ashton Kutcher is like a cardboard cut-out. He doesn't take up much space and sometimes he even improves the scenery. But most of the time the whole space would be better without the extra clutter.

Local commercials are even weirder than national commercials because the contrivances are out in full force without the production values as a disguise.

I'm tired of hearing about how China is rising. It's an enormous bubble of underpaid ethnic children laborers. And it is going to pop like a diseased yellow pus-filled welt on the forehead of the world.

I'm really excited to realize my potential. I'm a ball at the top of a hill, ready to roll, full of potential energy.

Words I like lately. Impertinent, vacillate, esoteric, exceedingly, exceptionally, nebulous, perhaps, thus, therefore, untenable, impervious, salacious, celebrate.

I'm esoteric.