Saturday, June 4, 2011

Home Friends

I saw my friends from high school. It's been a great time. Seeing a group of people I have known for 8 years now is enlightening. Aside from a very few individuals, I haven't known many people for longer than 4 years.

There is a sort of impermanence to my life that I am always trying to reconcile with my desire to find the permanent. My journey often feels like it is full of turns and odd directions, staccato signals that peak in prominence suddenly; a burst of color out of the noise, and fade gently back into the stream. The stream, the noise, remains constant, and unimpeded. To fade into the noise is not necessarily bad; the constant flow reminds me of my transient state. I am here for a short time.

And so my life feels like I am sitting on a porch on a sunny day, looking out at the water as the waves gently riffle along the shore. And sometimes it is punctuated by events, people, things that make the world briefly more colorful and energetic. Each part has a purpose, it rounds out my being, giving me the spectrum.

My friends feel that way. Punctuations of energy. Beams of light that pull me like an electron up to higher levels of energy and experience. My friends open up new worlds, remind me of the old, and patiently give me their time and energy to grow alongside me.

Coming home and finding those old rays of light, those bursts of energy, constant and unchanging in their own way, was a comfort. It made me happy to see them, to catch up, joke around, and make plans for the future. It has been far too long since my life intersected heavily with these people, yet they remain, for me, so important and integral to it.

It is always surprising to hear what they have to say, see where they plan on going, and hear what I have missed. I know I have not kept up like I should have, I know I have not maintained my friendships with as much tenacity as was possible, but I do know that they have opened their arms to me as always said that it is good enough.