Sunday, May 8, 2011

Tree Climbing

Where does life take me? I’m not ever sure. At the moment, it appeared to have taken me to the top of a tree.

“Wow, you are pretty high up.”

“Yeah I am” I made a sudden assessment of my situation. I was kind of high up in a tree that probably couldn’t support my weight. I looked at Chris. He was smiling and slightly in awe. His lack of concern was the opposite of comforting. I was high up. Falling would have hurt.

But none of that mattered in the woods at the campfire just ten minutes previous. Skidmore is something strange. The woods, the dorms, the apartments, the quiet town that is so easy to navigate. What is a place like this? We are a well-spring of entertainment: self-created and imported. The self-created variety comes in the form of me running and screaming through a forest in the middle of spring. The imported came in the form of the Blue Scholars, a phenomenal hip-hop duo out of Seattle that performed for the College last weekend.

Running through the woods made me feel alive. It reiterated my control over the world, if only paradoxically coming in the form of being inebriated—one of the least controlled states. I guess running between people to see the life separate from mine—what my friends do when I’m not looking—helps me realize how important and unimportant I am at the same time. It helps me know that I don’t have to be there, but that they value me when I am.

I later ran out of the woods, away from the campfire, to Alex’s house. I hung out with her and Lucy. They are a riot. We ate pizza. Domino’s. It’s less pizza and much more a way to dam up those far too fluid arteries—a way to contain the essence that keeps us alive, helps me know I’m not a robot.

Maybe that is where I was. Why I was stuck so high up. Life might take me up a tree. A fruitless path. A foolish plan. I can always come back down and try a new plan though. My friends will be waiting; knowing I’m safe and supporting me even though it’s a bit scary.