Friday, May 20, 2011

Cycle Time

Thus begins the end. Beyond the parties, the drama, the crazy. The end is nigh and I reside in its eye. The storm brews around me, ominous clouds of the futura obscura. An endless sea of emotional turmoil. A destructive cataclysm awaits me. I will step into the tempest, ready to be swept away on the annihilating winds of a time yet to come. Uncertainty looms large over my head, shielded by the square cap that accompanies my gown. And when I remove it I will be left with the end of an era. Four years will fade, yielding to the inevitable ravages of the storm. What will remain? A few fragments. Pieces, artifacts of a glorious time. Like the fated town of Sodom, my college life will be eternally shattered, and I will be unable to look back lest I turn to a pillar of salt. Racked with grief, held in place and unable to move. Only to blow away with the slightest wind. I cannot fathom what is to come. I can only imagine the total destruction that will occur. And I will be forced forward, only because I cannot go backward. And the fog of the future will keep my eyes pointed to the soil directly in front of my feet. A hazy gray, few shapes will pass through my eyes.

But I will persevere. I will make it out of the storm. And it will be clear, my future will be there. Waiting. Happy to see me. And a new city; a new civilization will rise, built from the few things I carry with me. And in my belongings I will be happy to find everything important to me. The destruction, the chaos, all of it was a purging. A purification ritual. Nothing important is ever lost. Only the extraneous.

That is the way of the world; the cyclical nature of our lifetimes. What we lose is never lost, what we gain is only what was forgotten. And we spiral upward, rediscovering things with progress in mind. Sometimes we find new in old, and old in new. We discover and create, we lose and process. Our fate is tied inevitably to time, the constant enemy, the oldest friend. Graduation is a mere gradation. And I will enter the world again, 22 years after I entered it the first time.