Thursday, February 10, 2011

Gearing Up for VD: Him

Short Story Pt.1:

“Hey guys!” Please say hi back, I need validation. Especially from her; in fact I’m just saying hi to her, but I’m trying to be cool and casual. My hands are sweating. Why are they sweating? Smile and walk forward. For God’s sake don’t trip. They are coming to hug me. Act cool, just awkward enough to make everyone feel comfortable. Smile God damn it. Oh shit I’m tripping. Catch myself, play it off.

“Smooth,” she laughed. She laughed that means funny right. Just like me please. I want to sleep with her. Look at her chest; look away. Was it nice? Her chest was covered by a sweatshirt. Wait, what did it say on her sweatshirt? Now I’m just looking at her chest. It says Harvard. Read it again, maybe it will fade away and her tits will pop out. I’m a dumb ass. Oh shit, I’m getting hugged by Jerry. He’s freaking huge. It’s like getting hugged by a pit bull. Exhale, be dramatic about it. Yeah. Smooth. She’s definitely laughing at me now.

“Nice to see you Jer.” One foot down, put the other down. Hands at side. Affect a cool stance. Yeah, slightly tilted back, hands in pockets, shoulders relaxed. Smile. She’s being standoffish, what did I do? Nothing, whatever; be cool. It’s cool. Stop overanalyzing. I’m ok.

“How was your weekend?” She’s taking an interest in me. Where is this going? I hope I can get rid of Jerry. I like him but he’s a cock block.

“It was cool, didn’t do much. I woke up on the floor of my room, with my head on my bed.” That was funny right? Yeah it was totally funny. She’ll laugh.

“Cool. Wait, what?!” Ha got her, she is intrigued. I hope that means I can hold her hand in the near future. Or cuddle while watching a movie. I’d like that. Or kiss her. I’m looking at her lips move. Her lips are moving. Uh oh, what did I miss? “—so weird. Anyway, I just stayed in and was a total bum, I didn’t even put on pants until after 3 on Saturday.” She smiled at me, giggled. She’s looking for validation. No pants. I like that image. Wait, I have to smile and laugh with her. I can’t be a dumbass and laugh too loudly. Perfect. Now it’s time to respond.

“I get that, chill out on the couch, do nothing. Cool.”

“Yeah, cool.” Oh no, awkward pause, just long enough for them to both leave. This is the moment is she leaving? No, she’s leaning in. Social cue. She wants to stay. Jerry wants to go. Sounds good to me, bye Jerry. This is a chance, get her now.

“What are you guys up to now?” Please say nothing. Please say you aren’t stuck with hanging out with Jerry. I’m really starting to not like Jerry.

“Jerry is going to drop off some papers, but I’m just enjoying the nice spring weather.” Yes! Wait, shit. Don’t emote. Keep it together. Cool, I keep saying cool. Stay cool. Dramatic pause. Yeah. Smooth.

“Cool, same actually. I was going to take a walk down to the park. Wanna join?” There we go, jackpot. Maybe she’ll want to borrow my jacket when the wind picks up. Yeah, and I’ll let her have it and I’ll have an excuse to come by her house. Yeah. And we’ll hang out. Stop staring at her chest. It says Harvard, I think that’s been established.

“Yeah, sounds cool. I’ll join you, as long as Jerry doesn’t mind me abandoning him.” Laugh, that was funny what she said. She’s funny. Jerry is shaking his head no. Thank God, I hate that guy, he’s a jerk.

“Cool. See you later Jerry.” He’s such a tool. Yes, time with her. I love her. Too soon. Don’t say that. It’s creepy. Wait, which way is the park.