Thursday, February 10, 2011

Gearing Up for VD: Her

Short Story Pt. 2:

God, why did I have to run into Jerry? He’s great, but I’m not sure he has showered in several days. Whatever. Be polite. Smile.

“Hey guys!” Who’s that, I can’t quite tell from this distance. The sun is nice out, but his face is right in the sun. Who is that? Oh, yes, it’s him. He’s coming toward us. Ok, be cute. Yeah, no. Be sexy. I am sexy. Why am I wearing this ugly sweatshirt? Why are my hands sweating? Can they even do that? It must be a medical condition. He’s tripping. He saved himself, but he’s still a klutz, I hope he’s not a bumbling idiot in bed.

“Smooth” I can’t laugh too hard at him. Just like me please. Take me for who I am. He’s so shy sometimes, he never makes eye contact. It’s not like he’s staring at my chest, I’m wearing this frumpy sweatshirt. Jerry is hugging him. That looks uncomfortable. Ok, now I’m definitely laughing at him. Stand casually. Turn a little to the side to look more feminine. Yeah, good job.

“Nice to see you Jer.” He’s kinda short. Whatever, that just makes me look good in heels. Unless the heels are too big. Who am I kidding? I’m like two feet tall. I could wear around stilts and never reach his neck. Don’t check him out. I’m frowning. Don’t frown. Quick. Take an interest in him.

“How was your weekend?” I hope Jerry has to go. I don’t want to drop off some papers. That’s way boring. I want to go for a walk and feel the spring air. It’s so nice out. He’s cute. I’d do him. Or just cuddle up and watch a movie with him. I’m looking at his lips moving. Oh no, his lips are moving. What did I miss?

“—my head on my bed.” Alright, be cool. Respond so he has to tell the story again.

“Cool. Wait, what?!” Smooth. It was like squirting milk out of my nose. Quick save it. Speak in rapid fire about my weekend. Yeah, that will throw him off. “No I get that, I had a lazy weekend. This last week was killer and I was recovering from a cold and all the parties seemed so weird. Anyway, I just stayed in and was a total bum, I didn’t even put on pants until after 3 on Saturday.” He’s laughing. It was kind of more like a chortle or a guffaw. That’s a funny word. I’m laughing now, but for a totally different reason than he is. Now I’m giggling—as long as I don’t snort I’ll be fine. I just snorted a little. Whatever.

“I get that, chill out on the couch, do nothing. Cool.” He says cool a lot. I hope his vocabulary is a little better than just cool.

“Yeah, cool.” Oh no, awkward pause, just long enough for me to get stuck with Jerry. I’ll lean in a bit. I don’t really want to go. Now I’m leaning in like I want to kiss him. That’s weird. Personal space bubble. I have to remember it. I don’t want to hang out with Jerry, he smells like an old football.

“What are you guys up to now?” Nothing! Save me, I don’t want to be stuck here with stinky and his friends smelly and gross.

“Jerry is going to drop of some papers, but I’m just enjoying the nice spring weather.” Did he just smirk? I don’t care; I don’t want to be stuck here. Give me an out man. You know what. Screw you. If you don’t I won’t like you anymore. That’s right. I’ll still think you are cute anyway.

“Cool, same actually. I was going to take a walk down to the park. Wanna join?” Hell yes I’d like to join. Maybe if it gets too cold I’ll borrow his jacket and I can keep it as an excuse to have him come by later. And we’ll hang out. And we’ll cuddle up watching a movie. He’s looking down again. Sometimes he looks so sad. Reply quickly.

“Yeah, sounds cool. I’ll join you, as long as Jerry doesn’t mind me abandoning him.” I hope that doesn’t hurt Jerry’s feelings. Whatever. He’s being a cock block. What a jerk. Oh, he’s shaking his head no. Jerry is a great guy. I love him. He’s a big loving pit bull.

“Cool. See you later Jerry.” Yes, time with him. I love him. That’s clingy. Do not say that. That is a bad idea. Wait, which way is the park?