Friday, December 25, 2009

Terra Firma

I walk into the dark. Four turns on the lock. The last turn, a click, a pop. I am inside the apartment. I cannot hear Ana sleeping but I know that she is here. And I know that it is my last night in Spain. I leave in a few hours.

The second I stepped off that plane I started a new life. Pressed a miniature reset button. Totally bewildered, unable to communicate, and just plain inexperienced. 4 months and an eternity has passed. Everyday come and gone.

Leaves under my feet. Pressed against the red brick sidewalk. Brown, yellow, green. A mat of leaves, a mosaic of color. The rain sprinkles gently. Streetlights. The plaza. The Calle Mayor. The last I will see of a land that has become so familiar.

Every moment a last something. How do I feel?

Numb.

The specter of death, the equally as disorienting experience of packing up a home and moving on, the last moment, the moment after the last moment, and the moment in between.

Spain has been wonderful.