Friday, December 25, 2009

Moments in between

Hostel. Cold. Love Actually. Doug sleep. Claire Sleep.

We had our last dinner with Verena. It was fun. Italian food and pictures. We said our goodbyes. The first of many here. We sat at the statue of Don Quixote for about a half hour and took photos. Photos of a time that will soon pass. The proof of something that is but a moment, a tiny speck of life. It's been cold. Really cold. The weather tells us it's winter, reminds us we have to go home.

We got a hostel room. We got a space to hang out together. Something we haven't been able to do. It was the American college experience in Spain. I missed it a lot. The ability to hang out and watch movies together is something absent from the Spanish life. It's cold it's cold.

Love Actually. Emma Thompson is a beautiful amazing actress. Excellent performance. Of course some of us fell asleep during the movie.

“Doug I am going to move you.”
“I'm trying to sleep.”
“I know, I'm going to move you so we can all fit and you can sleep.”
“can you take off my glasses?”
“yeah, here, scoot down.” We have gotten to a point where we all trust each other. We are Americans, strangers in a strange land—while it has become familiar to us, we will never have our roots in this place. We trust each other. We spread our roots, our history to each other—moving targets, fickle and fragile. Putting our trust in other humans is a tough thing; they can move, they can hurt us more than any place with its permanency. Yet we do it because we know that the pain of trusting people we will say goodbye to very soon is worth the pleasure of every remaining day.

I tugged on Claire's leg. “Don't do that! You don't have to be so rough,” Laura said. Claire barely stirred. “Just turn her foot.” I turned her foot, Claire made a noise. “Turn her foot again. Claire wake up.” Nothing. I turned her foot again and yanked her leg. Claire sat up, I started to get other things done. Laura started talking to Jarrod, looked back over at Claire, “she's asleep again! Claire!” Claire moved again. Every thirty seconds or so Claire would continue this routine: wake up, move a little, and crash again. No wonder she never wakes up from her alarms.

Last days, haha, this'll be fun.

Real Madrid. Conversation with Adam and Mini on Bus. Party at Louisiana. Karaoke. Decisions at the end.

Zaragoza is an awful team. It's freezing in this damn country. We were so excited to go to this game. Nose bleed seats. Cold and crazy. I miss playing soccer so much. The big last thing together. 6-0 slaughter game. It was fun to watch anyway. We left early to get back and party. Partying is important. Very important.

Caught the 12:30 to home. Alcala. Alcala is home I guess. Still so weird, home is almost gone, and we actually have to go home soon. Had a nice conversation with Adam and Mini on the bus. Hugs are on my list of Top Things. They are important and I miss them in this country. The dos besos thing doesn't quite cover the love of an abrazo. I think I am purging this country slowly from my body. I am keeping what I will remember and ditching the things I don't like. Cleaning off the dust of an unanalyzed semester and shining up the pretty parts.

We got to Alcala and went straight to the bars. Louisiana, 2 sombreros, one flaming shot...and 4 more shots spread out through the night. It's nice to see everyone and finish it all off—with Karaoke! And dancing at Can-Can. Coming full circle is not a metaphorical device used only in literature. I think people are attracted to it because it makes life and experience continuous and final at the same time. An end and a new beginning at the same time.

And some people like the end to do things they didn't do at the beginning. No names, no events, but they know who they are and what they did.

I love the end.

Torrejon. Ice rink. Peter Pan. Garena and Gino's.

Way hungover. Worst yet. Full circle can sometimes be a nasty reminder of the stupidity of one's past decisions.

Went to Torrejon to ice skate. That didn't happen. Oh well. Walked around downtown in Torrejon. Seeing new places three days before leaving. It's funny. It's odd. Torrejon is another Spanish town, much newer than Alcala but so much the same. The ice rink was dinky and not even worth it, kind of glad we didn't go. Wandered to the town's Peter Pan themed display. It was really cute. It was so suburban, something that has been missing from our lives as of late.

Headed to Garena and got some Gino's (a chain Italian). They were good. I unintentionally ordered the same thing I did as last time. Everyone was tired, everyone was quiet, everyone was sad, everyone was cold. I miss them already.

The end. Shopping. Pollo.

Day of shopping, picking up last minute gifts. The end, this is the end. Rain. Warmer, but still rain. I can't take it. Spain is crying for me. Spain is saying goodbye.

The Casa de Pollo. The last meal, the last one with everyone. We all said goodbye and Miguel Angel and Sergio stopped by. Said a little hey hey, said goodbye. Bittersweetness. Lots of fun lots of love, lots of everything. Excitement, anticipation, sorrow, closeness. Hugs, bygones, gone.

The end is so very close, the end is in two days.