Sunday, September 23, 2007

Dispatch from the Dishes

ok. i am washing dishes and working in the cafeteria. it's not so bad.

but it could be better. and here's how.

1st, you could put your fucking silverware where it needs to go. there are two--TWO--fucking places that you walk by where you get the opportunity to put your silverware. you obviously can't figure out one so they put two for you just in case you are extra slow. what we get instead is a bunch of forks, knives, and spoons in the back, i don't know about you but i think that forks, knives, and spoons are what we call SILVERWARE. they are silver...and ware. whatever the fuck that means. so get your act together and put the silverware in the little hole that says "silverware goes here"

2nd is the mugs put out of reach that are still full. i know you think it's cute to go with your little friends to get some coffee or tea. and it is. and i hope you really enjoy the time you spend chatting it up and forgetting that you have a mug full of hot liquid, because i never forget it and i always spill it on me because i try to work fast back there--y'know to be courteous to you so you don't have to put your dishes on the tray--and i tend to grab the opaque mugs assuming that you can finish your goddamn little drink full of scalding hot liquid. i have learned can't. so if you don't want to get a drink but just hang with your friends then just say no to burning the busboy.

3rd, third-world countries full gdp has gone down the drain because you think you can eat more than you really can. it's bullshit. if you want more get seconds, if you can't eat that much get a little less. c'mon, i know you are a bunch of prep school retards that think the nanny is gonna deal with it, but i got news for you, she ain't, i am. and i get pissed when i realize that starving children all over the world would shit out their aorta just to smell that food. so please don't waste food it's just not cool.

more when i figure it out. but suffice it to say that you guys can't be retarded

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